(In)Civility: the 3rd email

My Dear Niece Snakeash,

There is no singular word which will bring you more pleasure and self-satisfaction in all the Netherregionrelms than ‘civility’, as in civility in the workplace.

The thralls of bliss you will experience in demanding civility in the workplace, conducting civility training, and including civility metrics in internal assessment, while at the same time woefully disregarding any actual civility will be among the highest an HR body can achieve. At least in this realm.

Ah, behold the glorious disparity between that which is preached and that which is broadly allowed. Bask in the glow of this foundational element of workplace cynicism.

I suppose it’s helpful to look at the roots of a word, which frankly did not exist in the modern workplace until the last fifteen or so years.

Prior to ‘civility-lization’, employees had to resolve conflicts amongst themselves with the actual skills learned throughout their miserable life.

Aunt Toutlips

While instances would occasionally rise to a newsworthy spectacle, generally, two adults were able to resolve their differences through a combination of passive aggression, overt aggression, tantrums, screaming, gnashing of teeth and claws, spilled coffee, much crying, tossed coffee, more crying, 1000s of emails, and so forth.

But now? My how the times have changed.

Under the new reign and siege of civility, this is how a workplace slight is addressed:

Passive aggression, overt aggression, tantrums, screaming, gnashing of teeth and claws, spilled coffee, much crying, tossed coffee, more crying, 1000s of emails, AND civility.

See the difference? It’s right there at the end.

Now, when employees engage in the expected conflict that abounds in every workplace, we can twist the knife of a meaningless platitude and use it as a tool of compliance benefitting those who would benefit us, or at least recently served us with at least two fatted calves.

Do you understand, my dear Niece?

The only thing that has changed is how we can accuse those we don’t like of incivility, and protect those who are actually and perpetually the least civil of all, by simply ignoring it.

Remember, the best tools of oppression are the most innocuous and seemingly innocent of all.

Like yours truly,

Aunt Toutlips

Have you experience the incivility of civility in the workplace? Let DP know at nomaplebar@gmail.com.