The Toutlips Emails
Welcome to the home of the Toutlips Emails.
DP Wauchope and No Maple Bar presents The Toutlips Emails, a 31-part series plumbing the guttersnipes and spittlecocks of an industry that ties and twists the minds, necks, toes, and genitals of generation after generation of workers: human resources, the world’s second-oldest profession.
Each damming correspondence more damning than the last and plucked from the depths of despair and deposited weekly at No Maple Bar with a moist *plop*, typically when I remember to.
We all know the classic HR memo:
One HR to rule them all, One HR to find them, One HR to bring them in all and in a small classroom bind them.
~Anonymous Old Earth HR Director
Now, at last—exclusively and weekly on No Maple Bar—we will delve into the depths of a department derided in despair and depravity: druman desources.