My Dear Niece Snakeash,

Do you want to get stuff done? If so, I suggest keeping a narrow focus, staying on target, and working step-by-step until you accomplish your goal.

But do remember: you work in human resources.

Therefore, your focus should be preventing stuff from getting done—well, at least others stuff. Trust me, you don’t want done other stuff.

We, yes—the royal we, really overthink getting stuff done.

But why?

Well, if we swivel our horns to the left or right, we see our colleagues all glumly working through their work.

Notice I did not state ‘glumly doning through their done.’

Okay, yes, that would not be grammatically correct, and you are technically correct (the very best kind) in correcting me, as I recently assumed the role of High Wizard of the Grammar Nazis, and it would not befit this nitpickyest of roles to let the little things slide

Anyhoo.

Back to getting stuff done.

Or, instead, NOT getting stuff done.

The fundamental truth is that our own minds often prevent (though a strict regimen of self-doubt, anxiety, and liberal doses of fear) from doing what needs to be done.

The fear part is what excites me the most.

Think of the implications (oh, the implications!) of fear dictating what we do and what we don’t in the workplace—all the while shoving happy and twee programming down the dullard’s gizzards?

Well, let’s just saw my hooves are NOT my only body part clopping in glee.

Yes, fear is the key to a well-behaved workforce, where the human resources are indeed managed.

“But surely we must produce something sometime!” you protest.

Sure. But that which the workplace produces should NEVER be the intended result.

No, whatever ‘gets done should be a near crime against nature, an entity so twisted by fear, malformed by self-doubt, and eventually (and untimely) crapped out in anxiety, as to bear no resemblance to anything even the most craven or insane would claim parentage.

Again, getting stuff done simply a tool to another outcome.

Use to the umpteenth degree the pressure of the tool—and all that delicious stuff that comes with it—to hammer out the desired employee:

Ever-burdened by the constant inability to self-actualize or accomplish anything, and so consequently, quite pliable to assuming the role we so graciously bestow upon at our benevolent whim. 

Do you want to get stuff done? If so, I suggest keeping a narrow focus, stay on target, and work step-by-step until you accomplishment your goal.

But do remember: you work in human resources.

Therefore, your focus should be preventing stuff from getting done—well, at least others stuff.

Onerously, 

Aunt Toutlips

Author Notes